Testing

I did it.  I took the plunge.  And now I am scared.  Afraid. Nervous.

I got a new bunny to replace the old one that died.  But now, I am unsure.  What if this bunny isn't nice to my boy bunny.  What if she is mean and won't play?  The ache of a bunny lost can be compared in a strange way to the ache of worry that comes with a new bunny.

I wonder if moms worry about the same kind of thing when bringing a new baby home.  What if they simply cannot get along?

It is possible that the emotional state of mind that comes with being pregnant makes all these changes all the more difficult?  All in all, it just makes me want my mom.  Weird as it may seem.

Tribute

People do things for all sorts of reasons.  They wear black armbands to signify respect for someone who has passed.  They drink way to much at a wake.  They write songs, they erect hideous gravestones.  I let my bunny sleep in my bed last night.

I suppose a little background information could help here.  I recently moved (again) to a house with a wonderful garden and pool and space and light and air.  I should also add that I am a bunny lover.  My husband and I spent our weekend doing bunny proofing.  We even installed a baby gate, so that our buns could not make their way to the road.

All this preparation and schlep was, however, repaid in a way that I really did not expect.  I found one of my bunnies in the pool yesterday morning.  There was no hope for rescue.  I held her for about an hour, swearing at the world for being a cruel and unfair place.  I wrapped her in a towel and dried her.  Stroked her.  Agonised.

Her friend, partner and father of her babies refused to eat for the rest of the day.  See, he way paying tribute.  Because hurt - and the willingness to show it - could also be a form of tribute.  

He was so sad that I refused to leave his side.  I paid tribute to my beautiful little girl bunny by letting her friend sleep in my bed.  Not that he wanted to sleep.  Playing, licking, running was more what he had in mind.

But, as mourning and sadness may last all night, joy arrived in the morning.  In the form of a renewed appetite.

Pikpik will get a new friend in time.  But for now.  We are all happily (with the occasional tear) remembering his friend.

Sparkling weekend!

So, the smell of weekend and waffles is in the air.  I have just discovered that my sandwich machine is also a waffle maker.  Score!  And, my dear dear friend just had her first proper contraction.  She actually had to sit down, it was so strong.  Come little baby darling.  We are ready for you!  What a great weekend this will be!  Waffles, babies and house hunting!  Enjoy!!

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Feelings

Now, let me begin by stating that I am by no means psychic.

I am, however famous for buying clothes and wearing them straight out the shop.  I am impulsive and cannot wait for things to happen.  I own my own toolbox.  That way I never have to wait for a man to hang pictures on my walls, change plugs etc.

Bearing my very patient personality in mind (and this lightbulb only came to me retrospectively), I hesitated to start decorating my new babyroom in my new house.  We have lived here 5 days now, and I have not even unpacked any baby stuff.  Please understand that I'd already hung paintings and unpacked everything else in the rest of the house the very same day of moving in.

So, in this retrospective frame of mind, I received a very interesting phone call earlier today.

It seems my landlord has sold the unit we only just moved into.  And, my options are to either move out by the end of the month, or to move in 6 months.  And, not wanting to move with a newborn, I suspect I better get packing.  Thank goodness there is one room I didn't unpack.  Funny thing these feelings.  Best we trust them more often...........